your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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