She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
