Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
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