Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
