im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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