Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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