I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
