I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
