I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
