I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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