u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
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