she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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