grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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