yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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