So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Randomize
