I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Randomize
