Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
40s are totally the cure
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
