Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...

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(720): View more from Colorado

I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.

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(915): View more from Texas

I told you I was good to drive

(1-915): View more from Texas

dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate

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(541): View more from Oregon

does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized

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(812): View more from Indiana

Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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(303): View more from Colorado

so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...

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(713): View more from Texas

OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?

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(720): View more from Colorado

I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.

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(239): View more from Florida

I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly

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