whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
