It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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