it was like his penis was on wheels.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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