It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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