my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
