I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize