Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
There r osticjed everywhere
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
