New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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