wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
