Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
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