Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
