i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
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