Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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