If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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