Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(303): View more from Colorado

if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head

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(303): if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head http://tfl.nu/px1l

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(213): View more from California

I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'

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(213): I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered' http://tfl.nu/8qxk

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(914): View more from New York

i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.

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(914): i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to. http://tfl.nu/n2ms

Replies (12) Good night (570) Bad night (3585)
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(443): View more from Maryland

a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?

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(443): a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy? http://tfl.nu/2h5u

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(812): View more from Indiana

Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.

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(812): Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete. http://tfl.nu/9awl

Replies (59) Good night (2580) Bad night (4882) Order T-Shirt
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(260): View more from Indiana

Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.

(219): View more from Indiana

You said that last year...

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(260): Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate. (219): You said that last year... http://tfl.nu/7qlf

Replies (18) Good night (1893) Bad night (5358)
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(801): View more from Utah

You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.

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(801): You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them. http://tfl.nu/lphx

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(615): View more from Tennessee

I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.

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(615): I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this. http://tfl.nu/3o9n

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(818): View more from California

Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.

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(818): Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed. http://tfl.nu/scsc

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(530): View more from California

I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?

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(530): I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster? http://tfl.nu/nheu

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(801): View more from Utah

walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.

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(801): walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home. http://tfl.nu/tt4s

Replies (7) Good night (3089) Bad night (473)
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(616): View more from Michigan

Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"

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(616): Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son" http://tfl.nu/3jto

Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (596)
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(406): View more from Montana

There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland

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(406): There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland http://tfl.nu/keo1

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(506): View more from New Brunswick

I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.

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(506): I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow. http://tfl.nu/72sd

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(770): View more from Georgia

started my period, we have to try again next week

(1-770): View more from Georgia

if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint

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(770): started my period, we have to try again next week (1-770): if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint http://tfl.nu/4qkj

Replies (11) Good night (1319) Bad night (219) Order T-Shirt

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