Quick, to the slutcave!
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo