Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
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Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
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hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.