She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
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If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
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