Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
