Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
