dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
