Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize