Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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