i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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