how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
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That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize