life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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