She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
