So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize