Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Randomize
