Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
