How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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