YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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