Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
