Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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