Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
