so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize