we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
id be glad to
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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