On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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