I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
