apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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