You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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