we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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