If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize